I went to Target with the Person the other day. Stores are a great place to find money when you’re only six inches tall. Money falls in all kinds of interesting places. I found a dollar Friday. A whole paper dollar.
And then I found a Timmy.
“It’s Timmy! Boost me up. Boost me up. Is it a touch-me?” Timmy, for those who don’t know, is a sheep from Timmy Time, an offshoot from Shaun the Sheep. Guess who loves Shaun the Sheep? Angus. McSheep. He has Season 1 on DVD and is waiting for Season 2 and the Timmy Time DVD’s and visits the Shaun the Sheep website and what not. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has Timmy posters hidden away.
“I need this one,” I tell the person. “I need to get it for Angus.”
“You do notice it’s bigger than he is.” She presses the tummy and Timmy baas. I am very impressed and now I want it more then ever.
“So?”
“So, it could squash him. Remember the Pillsbury Dough Boy you had to have?”
I do. It didn’t turn out well. “Okay, what about the other one? That’s smaller.” Except it doesn’t snore. And it doesn’t have a teddy.
“This is also bigger then Angus.” She presses the hand like the box says to do. Nothing happens. We press all the hands and nothing happens. They’re all defective.
“What about that box? What’s in that box?” Not much it turns out. The box has me sized plushies, but no Timmy and no Mittens (the cat in Timmy Time). I guess I have to complain now. While the Person investigates the CD’s, I look for a store person. I found several having a pow-wow in the electronics section.
“Assistance is needed in the toy department!” Sometimes I have to yell because people persons have notorious bad hearing. I am assisted. “I need a Timmy. My size. The one in the box.”
“This?” I am shown the dog.
“That’s not Timmy. Timmy is the sheep. I need the sheep. It’s for Angus. He needs it desperately.”
She goes in the back to look. And finds a Timmy. I should have asked for Mittens too, but I only have a dollar. There’s only so much I can mooch ask from the Person. Timmy is rather heavy, but I manage to carry him to the Person. “I need money.”
“How much?” She doesn’t sound like she’ll give it to me.
“Five dollars.”
“I have this gift card I got last time.” She gives it to me. That sure was easy. I carry the gift card, my dollar, and the Timmy to the cash register where no one notices me. I could steal these things easy if I wanted. I end up hollering loud and get service. The Person arrives in time to give me and the Timmy a lift to the car. Part One accomplished.
“Is that a birthday present for Angus?” The Person asks.
“Angus has a birthday coming up?”
“April.”
“I can’t wait that long. I’ll give it to him next week. When’s his birthday?”
“April First.”
I think I remember something about that. I only keep up with my birthday. I suppose I better write the date down. Nah. The Person will remind me again.
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